In Focus

I’m somewhere between an existential crisis and no brain power to write an editorial. So enjoy some Valentine’s jokes...

“Where do you find love in a grocery store?” “Aisle B… there for you.”

“How do you put a flower in the friend zone?” “You tell it, ‘You’re my best bud.’”

“What did the salt say to the pepper on Valentine’s Day?” “Oooh baby, baby. Baby, baby.” (That one’s for the dads raised in the ‘80s.)

“What did the snail say on Valentine’s Day when his call went to voicemail?” “I just crawled to say I love you.”

“What did the soil say to express its feelings for the rock?” “I’d settle for you.”

“What’s the best Valentine’s Day dinner?” “A hearty one.”

“When should you ask someone out on a coffee date?” “When you like them a latte.”

“Why shouldn’t you trust a pastry chef on Valentine’s Day?” “Because they’ll dessert you.”

“Do you have a date for Valentine’s Day?” “Yes, it’s February 14.”

“Who always has a date on Valentine’s Day?” “A calendar.”

“What did the tortoise say on Valentine’s Day?” “I turt-ally love you.”

“How did the squirrel get his valentine’s attention?” “He acted like a nut.”

“How do you keep a jewelry store safe on Valentine’s Day?” “You locket.”

“What do you call sweets that can keep a beat?” “Candy rappers.”

“What do you call a romance that starts at the aquarium?” “Guppy love.”

“How do vampires know if they had a successful Valentine’s Day?” “If it’s love at first bite.”

“Why should you date a goalie?” “He’s a keeper.”

“What did the painter tell his girlfriend?” “I love you with all my art.”

“What did the man with the broken leg tell his valentine?” “I have a crutch on you.”

Happy Valentine’s Day!